he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize