I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think people are normalizing furries
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