I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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