It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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