Do you still have your period?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Randomize