found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
