I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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