Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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