hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He felt like a one man threesome
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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