There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
