There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
