i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
