There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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