how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
