Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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