apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
