okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
