My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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