You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
