Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
