They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
