brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
