I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
