she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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