Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize