So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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