dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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