dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just pee around me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
