dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
