just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize