You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In other news, I just burned my penis
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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