no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
