Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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