Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
