I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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