im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
