i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
