Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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