that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
