so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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