I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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