it wasn't lemon gatorade
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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