Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've blown a few things in my day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
