So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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