You're so nebulous sometimes
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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