hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
