please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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