apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
