saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
