3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
