and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
