We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
