Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
