I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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