It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
