she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize