I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
