some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
