I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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