if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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