also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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