Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
