He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
