No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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