i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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