what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
